"Sperm can get 12 people pregnant in a day." Hey, I love sex, but that sounds like too much work for me — and painful. Now that I'm in my eighth decade, I hear stories about guys my age who have gotten together with much younger women, hoping to raise a family. One guy went to a fertility clinic to check his sperm count and make sure he could deliver. The nurse gave him some pornographic magazines and a sample jar and sent him to a private room. When he didn't come out after half an hour, she knocked on the door. "I'm not ready yet," she heard him say. Fifteen minutes later, she tried again. Still not ready. Finally, after an hour, the man came out of the room and said to her, "It's no use. I tried with my left hand... I tried with my right hand... I just can't get the lid off this jar."
Squirty ice cream is what we call it if we don't want the Flake! (No one doesn't want the Flake). But, weirdly, you wouldn't actually ask for squirty ice cream - that would sound crass. You just say it to the person you're with regarding what you want to stop and buy. So what do you say to the seller? Well, the place you get the squirty ice cream from almost certainly won't serve any other kind, so you can just tell them how big a cone you want and you're done. Are we complicated? Maybe we're complicated.
"Sperm can get 12 people pregnant in a day." Hey, I love sex, but that sounds like too much work for me — and painful. Now that I'm in my eighth decade, I hear stories about guys my age who have gotten together with much younger women, hoping to raise a family. One guy went to a fertility clinic to check his sperm count and make sure he could deliver. The nurse gave him some pornographic magazines and a sample jar and sent him to a private room. When he didn't come out after half an hour, she knocked on the door. "I'm not ready yet," she heard him say. Fifteen minutes later, she tried again. Still not ready. Finally, after an hour, the man came out of the room and said to her, "It's no use. I tried with my left hand... I tried with my right hand... I just can't get the lid off this jar."
Squirty ice cream is what we call it if we don't want the Flake! (No one doesn't want the Flake). But, weirdly, you wouldn't actually ask for squirty ice cream - that would sound crass. You just say it to the person you're with regarding what you want to stop and buy. So what do you say to the seller? Well, the place you get the squirty ice cream from almost certainly won't serve any other kind, so you can just tell them how big a cone you want and you're done. Are we complicated? Maybe we're complicated.
This follows perfectly the sperm comment.
SQUIRTY ICE CREAM!!! this is even more delightfully accurate - reminds me of my friend's kid who calls seltzer "spicy water"